As far as patterns of conflict in my life, I have been noticing recently that I keep buying chocolate to put in the candy bowl in my apartment for guests, and my roommate keeps eating it all by herself within a few days and she never replaces it. Whenever we run out of chocolate, she complains to me about it. So then every time I go to the store I feel obligated to buy more chocolate... Which is SO expensive! I keep buying the chocolate because I keep thinking that one day, when I open the candy jar, there might actually be something chocolatey and delicious waiting there for me. So far there has only been disappointment.
Lately, I've been hiding my chocolatey sins in my room, where my roommate won't see them, and won't find them. I realize this is a pretty passive-aggressive way to deal with this problem, but I'm definitely trying to avoid a larger conflict, which would be that my roommate is generally what I'll call "thrifty," and won't pay me back for things that I buy for the apartment, but will demand a refund from me on the things she buys for the apartment.
I think the next time she complains about not having any chocolate, I'll just suggest that she buys some herself
I guess, overall, this little conflict probably points out a long pattern of my dealing with conflict. I like to think that I start out being kind, forgiving, and understanding, but maybe to a point, that's just being passive? Then, like in this particular conflict, I try to drop hints to the person I'm in conflict with that I have a problem with what is happening because I don't overtly want to hurt their feelings (passive-aggressiveness). Then I end up in full out aggression where I tell that person what is wrong... Probably not in the best way possible. I tend to wait to deal with a conflict head-on until it's the last straw and I explode. I'll have to work on that.
I really wouldn't be able to fit that into a conflict model. Perhaps the spiraling model, where one action just leads to another and it comes back to the same place in the end.
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